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Xander Quotage

Don't know if any one ever reads this anymore...I do for nostalgia sake...but anyway...

Danger. Ha. I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide til it goes away. -Xander, from The Witch, Season 1

This always makes me smile. :)

I've re-immersed myself in buffyverse. And it makes me giggle, and awh, and feel all fuzzy inside.

Possibly my favorite quote ever:
Because? Okay. I'm cookie dough. I'm not done baking. I'm not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I'm going to turn out to be. I make it through this and the next thing and the next thing and maybe one day I turn around and realize I'm ready. I'm cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat m' (covers) or enjoy warm, delicious cookie-me, then that's fine. That'll be then. When I'm done.

Click for the whole scene. Collapse )

I love them evilies.

Drusilla: (to the bird) I'll give you a seed if you sing.
Spike: The bird's dead, Dru. You left it in a cage, and you didn't feed it, and now it's all dead, just like the last one.

Drusilla: Would you like a party favor? (indicates her guests)
Judge: (re Dalton) This one is full of feeling. He reads. Bring him to me.
Spike: What's with the bringing? I thought you could just zap people.
Judge: My full strength will return in time. Until then... I need contact.
Dalton: No. No! NO! (burns up)
Drusilla: Do it again! Do it again!

Favorite Quote

Season 1 (dont remember which episode though)

Cordelia to Buffy
: "God! What is your childhood trauma!!!"

Hey guys, I've got a post with about 28 text only buffy icons over at my icon journal. It's NOT f'locked if you'd like to head over and check them out :)

See the rest here @ my icon journal yourbestbeticon


Cordelia: Harmony, shut up. Do you know what you are, Harmony? You're a sheep.

Harmony: I'm not a sheep.

Cordelia: You're a sheep. All you ever do is what everyone else does
just so you can say you did it first. And here I am, scrambling for your
approval, when I'm *way* cooler than you are 'cause I'm *not* a sheep. I
do what I wanna do, and I wear what I wanna wear. And you know what?
I'll date whoever the hell I wanna date. No matter how
lame he is.

Lyric Post

Walk Through The Fire
~ Once More With Feeling Soundtrack

I touch the fire, and it freezes me.
I look into it, and it's black.
Why can't I feel?
My skin should crack and peel. . .
I want the fire back.
Now through the smoke she calls to me,
To make my way across the flame:
To save the day, or maybe melt away.
I guess it's all the same.
So I will walk through the fire.
‘Cause where else can I turn?
I will walk through the fire
And let it -
The torch I bear is scorching me,
And Buffy's laughing, I've no doubt.
I hope she fries.
I'm free if that bitch dies!
I better help her out.
‘Cause she is drawn to the fire.


Some people never learn.
She will never learn.
And she will walk through the fire
And let it -
Will this do a thing to change her?
Am I leaving Dawn in danger?
Is my slayer too far gone to care?
What if Buffy can't defeat it?
Beady Eyes is right:
We're needed!
. . .
Or we could just sit around and glare. . .
We'll see it through.
It's what we're always here to do.
So, we will walk through the fire. . .
So one by one, they turn from me.
I guess my friends can't face the cold.
What can't we face,
But why I froze, not one among them knows. . .
if we're together?
And never can be told.
She came from the grave much graver.
So one by one, they come to me,
First, he'll kill her, then I'll save her.
The distant redness as their guide.
Everything is turning out so dark. . .


Going through the motions,
That single flame
No, I'll save her, then I'll kill her.

Walking through the part,
Ain't what they had in mind.
I think this line is mostly filler.

It's what they have inside.
What's it going to take to strike a spark?
These endless days are finally ending in a blaze.
She will come to me.
And we are caught in the fire:
The point of no return.
So we will walk through the fire. . .
And let it –
Let it burn . . .
Let it burn . . .
Let it
(speaking not singing anymore)
"No! No! No! World without sunshine! World without joy!" ~ Superstar, Season 4

^_^ Me either.

Enjoy the Xander Quotage!

Season 1
"And I, in the meantime, will help by standing around like an idiot." ~ The Harvest
"I laugh in the face of danger! Then I hide until it goes away." ~ The Witch
"To read makes our speaking English good." ~ I Robot, You Jane

"I'm just gonna go home, lie down, and listen to country music. The music of pain." ~ Prophecy Girl

Season 2
"Buffy, Lady of Buffdom, Dutchess of Buffonia. I am in awe. I completely renounce spandex." ~ Halloween
XANDER: What? And suck all the spontaneity out of being young and stupid? I'd rather live in the dark.
WILLOW: You're not gonna be young forever.
XANDER: Yes, but I'll always be stupid. *silence* Okay, let's not all rush to disagree. ~ What's My Line Part One

(to Giles) 
“You ready to get down, you funky party weasel?” ~ Surprise
XANDER: Buffy, I feel a pre-birthday spanking coming on.
JENNY: I'd curb that impulse if I were you, Xander.
XANDER: *speaking into his shirt* Check, cancel spanking.
~ Surprise
"Well, this is new territory for me. I mean, my valentines are usually met with heartfelt restraining orders." ~ Bewtiched, Bothered, and Bewildered

Season 3
(thoughts after realizing that Buffy can now read everyone’s mind) 
"What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time. . . Sex. HELP! *panicking* Four times five is thirty. Five times six is thirty-two. Naked girls. . . . Naked women. . . . heehee, Naked Buffy. . . - Oh, stop me! *runs away*" ~ Earshot
(about Oz) 
“It’s different now. It's more a verbal nonverbal. He speaks volumes with his eyes. ~ Gingerbread
(pretending to read library computer screen) 
“’Frisky Watchers Chat Room’. Why, Giles!” ~ Gingerbread
(about the SATs)
“I hate that they make us take that thing. It's totally fascist, and personally, I think it, uh, discriminates against the uninformed.” ~ Band Candy
“I don't get this. The candy's supposed to make you feel all immature and stuff, but I've had a ton, and I don't feel any dif –
*notices the captain obvious stares everyone is giving him*
Never mind.” ~ Band Candy
Season 4
"Why couldn't Giles have shackles like any self-respecting bachelor?!" ~ Living Conditions
"Oh!!! OH! He's like your kryptonite!" ~ Superstar
XANDER: So we're saying he did a spell just to make us think he was cool?
XANDER: That is so cool!
~ Superstar
(to Buffy
Just because you’re better than us doesn’t mean that you can be all superior!” ~ The Yoko Factor
(about Willow and Buffy) 
"This is so like them lately. It's all about them and the college life. Well, you know what college is? It's high school only without the actual going to class. Well . . . high school was kinda like that too. But the point is, I'm out there working hard to make a living. It's nothing but a huge joke to them. *whining* Xander got fired from Starbucks. Xander got fired from that phone-sex line." ~ The Yoko Factor
Season 5
XANDER: Where is he??? Where's the creep that turned me into his spider-eating man-bitch?!?
BUFFY: He's gone.
XANDER: Dammit! You know what? I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt-monkey!!! ~ Buffy vs. Dracula
(to Willow trying to convince her that he's the "real" Xander)
“Let's see. *paces* Stuff only you and me know. *thinking*
Okay! On my seventh birthday, I wanted a toy fire truck, and I didn't get it, and you were real nice about it. And then the house next door burnt down, and then real fire trucks came, and for years I thought you set the fire for me ^_^
. . .
And if you did, you can tell me! *grinning*
*more pacing*
For a while last year, I thought I was lactose intolerant, but it was just some bad Brie. Oh! *pointing excitedly* Every Christmas, we watch Charlie Brown together, and I do the Snoopy dance.
*big smile while starting to do the Snoopy dance*” ~ The Replacement
Season 6
“House of chicks, relax. I am a man, and I have a tool. *sees Dawn* Tools. Lots of plural tools. In my, uh . . .  toolbox. *official change of subject* Ah! Sandwiches. Excellent! Men like sandwiches.” ~ The Beginning Part One
(to Andrew) 
“You’ve never had any tiny bit of sex have you.” ~ Two to Go
(while lost in the woods)
XANDER: Okay, this is really starting to grate my cheese. These woods aren't that big. Now, I know we've been going straight because I've been following the North Star.
WILLOW: Xander, that's not the North Star. It's an airplane.
XANDER: Nah, that's not an airplane. It's definitely. . . a blimp! But I can see how one. . .could make that airplane mistake. . .
~ The Beginning Part Two
Season 7
"Poems. Always a sign of pretentious inner turmoil." ~ Help
"Sunnydale. Come for the food; stay for the dismemberment." ~ Beneath You
XANDER: They'll never know how tough it is, Dawnie – to be the one who isn't chosen – to live so near to the spotlight and never step in it. But I know. I see more than anybody realizes because nobody's watching me. I saw you last night. I see you working here today. You're not special. You're extraordinary.
DAWN: Maybe that's your power.
DAWN: Seeing, knowing.
XANDER: Maybe it is. . .Maybe I should get a cape.
~ Potential
*fed up* “Another demon woman was attracted to me. I'm going gay. I've decided I'm turning gay. Willow, gay me up. Come on, let's gay!” ~ First Date
"Hey, party in my eye socket! And everyone's invited!
*roomful of stares*
Sometimes I shouldn't say words. " ~ Chosen  

s3, consequences.

my favorite bits from my favorite episode:

Xander: Faith, you may not think so, but I sort of know you. And I've seen you post-battle. And I know firsthand that you're, um... like a wild thing. And half the time, you don't know what you're doing.
Faith: And you're living proof of that, aren't you?
Xander: See, you're trying to hurt me. But right now, you need someone on your side. What happened wasn't your fault. And I'm willing to testify to that in court if you need me.
Faith: You'd dig that, wouldn't you? To get up in front of all your geek pals and go on record about how I made you my boy toy for a night.
Xander: No. N-n-n-n-no, that's not it.
Faith: I know what this is all about. You just came by here 'cause you want another taste, don't you?
Xander: No! I mean, it was nice. It was great. It was kind of a blur. But, okay, some day, sure, yay, but not now. Not like this.
Faith: More like how then? Lights on or off? Kinks or vanilla?
Xander: Faith, come on. I came here to help you. I thought we had a connection.
Faith: (laughs) You wanna feel a connection? (shoves him on the bed) It's just skin. I see... I want... I take. (kisses him hard) I forget.
Xander: (protesting) No. No, wait. It was more than that.
Faith: I could do anything to you right now, and you want me to. I could make you scream. (kisses him more, slowly begins to strangle him) I could make you die...

Angel: Faith, you have a choice. You've tasted something few ever do. I mean, to kill without remorse is to feel like a god.
Faith: Right now, all I feel is a cramp in my wrist, so let me go!
Angel: But you're not a god. You're not much more than a child. Going down this path will ruin you. You can't imagine the price for true evil.
Faith: Yeah? I hope evil takes MasterCard.
Angel: You and me, Faith, we're a lot alike. Time was, I thought humans existed just to hurt each other. But then I came here. And I found out that there are other types of people. People who genuinely wanted to do right. And they make mistakes. And they fall down. You know, but they keep caring. Keep trying. If you can trust us, Faith, this can all change. You don't have to disappear into the darkness.

Season 4 - Living Conditions....again

For some reason, even though this is one of my least favorite Season 4 episodes, and probably in my top 5 least favorite of the whole series, it's got some truly hysterical quotes:

Buffy: So then, Kathy's like, "It's share time," and I'm like, "Oh, yeah? share this!" //mimes punches//
Oz: So either you hit her, or you did your wacky mime routine for her.
Buffy: Well, I didn't do either, actually. but she deserved it, don't you think?
Oz: Nobody deserves mime, Buffy.
Buffy: Oh, Kathy does. She deserves to be locked in an invisible box, and blown away by an imaginary wind, and...
Oz: Forced to wear a binding unitard?
Buffy: Yeah, the itchy kind. It's perfect.
Oz: Just here to help.